Tea in the cupboard

I found this beautiful little package of tea in my cupboard yesterday. 

 

I bought it when we were in Tokyo which was around 2 years ago so I wasn't sure how fresh it would be. I think I've resisted opening it because of the gorgeous packaging. 

I love the quote  - tea always makes me slow down a little and I do enjoy a wonderful time! I can't imagine my day without the ritual of tea even when it's usually just a tea bag in the cup. I enjoy choosing the cup depending on my mood, and the opportunity to stop whatever I'm doing for a few minutes as I prepare the tea. I try to be mindful as I drink and be thankful for another moment to reflect and take a breath. 

The tea was a lovely peach flavour, and to my surprise there were 3 teabags inside so I have two more to look forward to. 

Vanna xxx

An extrovert goes grocery shopping!

This weekend I went to my local shopping centre on Saturday - the day between the two Easter public holidays. Rather than dreading the inevitable madness as people shop like there's no tomorrow, I kind of looked forward to being there on this busier than normal Saturday. 

After my shopping was done and as I walked out into the car-park, energetically pushing my trolley, smiling and singing to myself, I had a bit of a self awareness light-bulb moment. I really love the buzz of being with so many people in this mundane environment. Does this make me weird or a bit sad? Many of my friends can't stand grocery shopping, and avoid our daggy supermarket whenever possible, whereas I've noticed that I actually get an adrenaline buzz from the interactions I have with people as I buy my groceries! 

When I shop at my local I enjoy chatting to the shop assistants - at the fruit shop, at Woollies, at Bakers Delight, and to the woman who runs the florist. I've been shopping here for years, so I feel connected to these people and we know a little about each other and our lives. I teach at a local preschool so I also run into lots of current and past children and families as I shop, and once again I love the ongoing connection that this contact gives me. It's great to briefly catch up, to reminisce, and to watch children grow and see the changes that time brings. 

I often run into friends while I shop, and I also enjoy the interactions with people I don't know at all as we drive our trolleys around the aisles, or wait in lines at counters, We share a smile, a laugh, an offer of help, or a roll of the eyes when its appropriate. 

This realisation confirms that I am more of an extrovert than an introvert - I am energised by interactions with groups of people. I love going to see bands and big concerts, and I work with lots of people, so this is no surprise to me. However I think the shopping thing goes a little bit deeper - I think that being a part of this routine reminds me that we are all connected and are all just doing what we need to do to get by. Obviously shopping for food is a lot easier than trying to hunt for it, or grow it, and I am among the privileged few in the world who can just go down the road and get everything I need and more. However when I shop at my local supermarket I feel that I belong and that I am part of a community. 

My happiness comes from my sense of good fortune as I shop, and the reminder that what really matters is how we turn everyday moments into opportunities to connect, to be kind, and to be grateful.

                                                                    I just had fun drawing this on Paint! Vanna xxx

Busy Work.

It was International Women's Day yesterday and perhaps because of this my feminist radar was working well when a four year old girl at the preschool where I teach said to me:

"My Mum picks me up because my Dad is too busy". 

I acknowledged this statement, then said that I was pretty sure her Mum was also busy and that picking her up and looking after her was something that made her busy too.

She thought about this but then told me once more about how busy her Dad was.

What messages are we still (unbelievably) giving our children, especially girls, about the value of the work that women do? I happen to know that this Mother's 'work' is typical of so many women with young children and involves juggling unpaid and paid work, 'busily' moving between 'jobs'.

Is caring for and raising children not important enough to be considered busy work? Why not? I know people have been discussing this in much more academic terms for years, but it really bothers me! It also relates to my work as an early childhood teacher as I have struggled my entire career to have my 'professional work' valued fairly.

The power of the words we use with children must not be underestimated. If we hear something often enough we start to believe it. If a child hears that what their Mum (or Dad or whoever cares for them) does isn't seen as being as 'busy', we can translate this to being unimportant or of less value, since 'busyness' is regrettably seen as an achievement or a 'badge of honour'. (I just googled 'busyness as a badge of honour' and there are loads of articles about this as well - interesting stuff.)

I think its really important that we continue to challenge the way that our children think about the work we do, and to acknowledge the significance and hard work involved in being a parent (or carer). We can advocate for women and women's rights by valuing the complexity of what women do each day as we work to raise our children and work in our paid jobs, and somehow manage to usually do a pretty good job at both!

Vanna

Milestones and Letting Go

I began this post in September last year, and finished it today ...


I love milestones, and they also send me a little bit crazy.
Last month was a biggie! My son turned 18 and graduated from high school - ON THE SAME DAY!!

When something big like this is approaching I whip myself up into an emotional frenzy and share this heightened state with everyone around me. Leading up to the 'big day' I couldn't stop talking about how I was feeling, and about how much I was going to cry, actually crying, and generally over-sharing to whoever would listen.  I apologise to not only my family and friends, but also to my neighbours, to the lovely people who work at the local fruit shop, and to my workmates!

The Graduation was fantastic, and I cried of course. I drank champagne with my friend whose daughter started Kindy on the same day as my son and we cried happy tears as we watched them enjoy their graduation together 13 years later.The 18th was wonderful too - and we survived the birthday party in better shape than some of the guests!

I've always thought that being a parent is in so many ways about letting go. At each stage of your child's life you need to let go that little bit more. You let go when you send them to preschool, to school, on sleepovers and to camp. You let them make their own choices and mistakes, and hope that when they return to you they will be ok. They will be a little changed from each new experience, and so will you.

When my son turned 18 and finished school I celebrated the beautiful man that he had become and grieved for the gorgeous boy that he was. I celebrated that I was with him to share in this important day and my heart burst with pride and love as I watched him share this special day with his friends and with our family.

Now, 5 months later as I finally finish this post I'm feeling a lot calmer and accepting of this next stage in my life as a mother. He is away with friends for a week and I'm missing him, but I know that he's having a great time and I want nothing more than for him to be happy, peaceful, and surrounded by people who he loves, enjoying this exciting time in his life, when so much is possible. I know that the letting go will continue, and more tears will be shed, however a little rest for the moment feels sweet and I will savour it.

Vanna xxx




I love the sense of freedom and exhilaration in this image - letting go can be difficult but once you've done it, it feels pretty good!

(I found this photo on google images).

Climbing in the city.

I spent a lot of my time at work today watching the children climb our two lovely maple trees. They have grown to just the right height for 3, 4 and 5 year old legs and arms to reach and explore.

I am so impressed with the children's ability to manoeuvre their way around the tree as they climb.  Some children  seem to work it out one move at a time - reaching for a branch with one hand, placing a foot in just the right place to balance, and then pulling themselves up or swinging back down to the ground. Some children talk as they climb - planning their next  move, or calling out to friends. Others move swiftly and quietly - in seconds they are up in the tree, leaning comfortably onto the branches, trusting the tree for support. 'I'm going to stay here all day" said one of the girls to me.

For a few children climbing is a real challenge, but they persist. Other more accomplished climbers offer help - a hand to hold, or suggestions such as:  "Put your foot there", "Pull up now!", or the less helpful "My muscles are stronger than this branch!". I am nearby and happy to provide a push up, although I'm more often needed when it's time to get down. I love the sense of pride and excitement when a child climbs up into the tree by themselves for the first time.

I love that I work in an environment where children are encouraged to take safe risks. Where climbing a tree in the city is part of the everyday, and where we trust that children inherently know their abilities - their limits, and more importantly their wondrous and enormous potential.

Time to start writing again.

It's been far too long since I've written a post for my little blog, and in the last week or so I've seen 2 friends who have reminded me to write - to just do it! So here I am writing and already it feels good.

I'm not totally sure what stopped me writing, however I do think it has a little to do with my mind being preoccupied with a bit of anxiety. My anxiety is low level and pretty straightforward - it is directly related to my health and is a result of having had breast cancer not only once - but twice! Throw some genetic disposition into the mix and worrying about the pain in my foot - is it foot cancer??? seems hardly surprising.

However, even though I'm very good at rationalising my anxiety, I'm not always so effective at dealing with it. I let it creep up on me and then I realise that a large amount of my mental energy is being spent worrying about things that haven't happened and that may happen - although most times these are incredibly unlikely to happen. As well as being unpleasant, what I dislike most about this is the space these thoughts take up in my mind. I have realised that when I'm anxious I have less space to be creative. My mind becomes full of not only the anxious thoughts, but also the thoughts that I use to try to resist and deal with the worries. Lots of not so helpful self-talk included. I become distracted - not fully present. And less inclined to take risks, to make things, to try something new.

The flip side of this is that as soon as I do something creative - such as writing which is my preferred creative outlet, my anxiety starts to fade away. It's like when you really don't want to exercise but you drag yourself out - and of course end up loving it and feeling fantastic afterwards. (Walking is also great for my headspace, as is mediating which I don't do nearly enough).

So I guess the moral of my story is that it's time to start writing again. We all know that prevention is better than the cure and now that my head is in a good place I should give myself some gentle help to keep it that way.

Vanna xxx




 

Walking with my beautiful dog Mali is great for my mental health too.

 And so is drinking tea of course!

Happy New Year and Books!

 

 

 

 

 

I was very happy today to hear on the radio news that in the last year sales of books had increased and sales of e books had decreased for the first time! Yipee! This means that I am not alone in my love for the real thing - a lovely book to hold, to carry around, to cuddle up with at night. New books have the wonderful smell and the sense of anticipation as you wait to be the first person to read it. Old books have character and history and connection. I have no real issue with e books, and I can't really comment on them as I've never actually read one and am not in a hurry to either.

 

This news coincided with my idea to post a photo of all the books that I read last year. This idea is in no way original as I've seen it on other blogs, and I thought it would be a fun exercise to pile them up and reflect on what I've read. After a search through the house I found the 13 books in the photo above - so not a bad start, more than one a month.

 

Then over the next few days I remembered a few other books that I had read but had borrowed:

 

 

                                                            The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

                                                           Questions of Travel by Michelle de Krester

                                                           The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton

                                                           Animal People by Charlotte Wood

 

 

  Then looking back at my blog posts I was reminded of this most amazing and wonderful book. I don't know how I could have forgotten it! I was so moved and inspired by the stories in Far from the Tree. All I can say is read it please.

 

 

   Another post reminded me of these books - a few made it to the big pile. I have to admit to starting The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Richard Flanagan and not being able to finish it. This was also the case with Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. I tried, but maybe my head was not in the right space for either of them and I do believe that there are way, way, way too many books waiting to be read, to persist with one that's just not doing it for you.

 

As well as Far from the Tree the stand outs for me included Bonfire of the Vanities which I read after our holiday in New York. It was brilliant and as it was my Dad's copy from 1987 I was treated to his personal addition in the form of an article on Tom Wolfe tucked between the pages, and that feeling of closeness to Dad that I get when I read his old books. I also loved Currawong Manor which was made extra special by my regular meetings with the gorgeous Josephine as I walk to work or the shops. Animal People by another local Charlotte Wood was a great entertaining and clever read and I also found The Blue Zones potentially life changing - I am now aiming to live to 100!

 

 

So there you go, about 20 books in total. I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself and feel inspired to try and read more this year. I started the year with The Hamilton Case  by Michelle de Krester and I am currently in the midst of We are all Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler (fantastic title!).

 

What did you read and love? Do you find enough time to read? I am so thankful that I am able to make time for reading - it truly nourishes me.

 

Vanna xxx